"Professional Widow" is a 1996 song written by singer-songwriter Tori Amos. It is a harpsichord-driven rock dirge and was included on her 1996 album Boys for Pele. The eponymous "professional widow" is widely rumoured to be Courtney Love, widow of Kurt Cobain, whom Trent Reznor blames for the destruction of the friendship (whatever its extent) between himself and Amos. In 1999, Reznor's band Nine Inch Nails released a single called "Starfuckers, Inc.", with "Starfucker" being a word that appears in "Professional Widow".

Lyrically the song borrows directly from the short story "The Sphinx" by Edgar Allan Poe. Specifically the lyric "what is termed a landslide of principal proportion" is taken from the line "what is termed a land-slide, of the principal portion of its trees"; and the lyric "prism perfect" from the line "in shape a perfect prism."

"Professional Widow" was released in July 1996 as the third single from the "Boys For Pele" album in the US, containing remixes by house music producers Armand van Helden and MK. The single reached #1 on the Billboard Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart.

An edited version of the Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix of "Professional Widow" was originally released as a double A-side single with "Hey Jupiter" in Europe and Australasia. In December 1996, the single was released as an A-side in Europe, under the expanded title "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)", and reached #1 on the UK Singles Chart in January 1997. This release contained additional remixes of the track by Mr. Roy.

Following the release of Boys for Pele, on which it first appeared, "Professional Widow" has been featured on several releases.

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